up to with the private security industry? They're planning to abolish the Security Industry Authority, which regulated bouncers and that, because they claim that the industry is cool enough to be able to regulate itself, and there's no way it would get taken over by organised crime or anything like it would do. What is their motivation here? It wouldn't save any money, the SIA is self-financing. Is George Osborne wanting to come round your house demanding money with menaces? Are they after donations from El Grande? It's hard to think of any good reason why they're doing this. Can you think of any? Please, let me know if you can.
Is Paul McCartney thick or hip? I read that he's having his entire library digitised - music, artwork, photographs, paintings, videos...notice anything missing there? Yeah. Unless they've just not mentioned it, Paul McCartney's library doesn't contain any books! Clearly he prefers watching monster truck videos, and probably Jeremy Clarkson's Top 10 Funniest Genocides from Poundland or something. Or... he's a man of the future and he consumes a lot of literature but it's all on a Kindle or something, he's saving paper, good fellow. I hope he's not got severe dyslexia or something - I wouldn't make fun of that! You've got to believe me! I had no way of knowing! How was I supposed to know? He never mentions it, does he? If he'd said "ooh, I've got severe dyslexia" I'd have known not to put my foot in it. Anyway, they're going to keep it all in a cloud, so I suppose it's good that there aren't any books, they'd fall through, wouldn't they? Well done Paul. Hang on a minute - paintings and videos and stuff would too, wouldn't they? Oh, I give up.
Now, I know you're probably thinking that volcanos are lovely things, and they wouldn't hurt a fly. But news just in says that they killed off the Neanderthals! I think it's only too clear what happened. The right wing press of the day colluded with evil forces to brainwash people into hating the Neanderthals, then the goverment abolished that Volcano Regulation Authority and the volcanos went and murdered them all, and the people said 'hurrah!', because they had been taught that the Neanderthals all had ten babies a year so they could send them out pickpocketing, even though it wasn't true.
I'm going away today and I'm not back until late on Monday. If I had to guess I'd say you probably won't get anything more here until after that. You might be lucky though. You could check the tumblr (link on left) there might be some images or videos or something there.
that's all from me for now
see you around
Milky Drink Of The Day: Calpis
There's a load of amphibians that might be extinct, right? So they're trying to find them. There's this salamander that hasn't been seen since 1941. They found it! In a cave in they had to abseil into. In Mexico. And it hadn't been seen since 1941. When it was discovered. In a cave in Mexico. Maybe I'm just being nasty here, but could it be that they haven't been looking in inaccessible caves in Mexico all that much? I don't know. It's hard to know when you've got the right balance between naivety and cynicism. Just kidding! I'm obviously right.
In 2013 BBC1 is going to go live for a night, according to a news. This is to mark the sixtieth anniversary of some royal thing when a lot of people watch the telly, because people used to like royal things, except It's A Royal Knockout, and also the BBC's last year at Television Centre. It might be worth watching. Someone might say 'bum' or something. No-one did during the royal thing, but it's not too late for someone to say it this time - it's three years away, plenty of time to arrange for somebody to say 'bum'. Apparently earlier this year some shitty soap did a live episode to celebrate its 25th episode or something, and they got a bit of a taste for it. I don't know if anyone said 'bum' in that. Programs used to be live all the time in the olden days, but no-one said 'bum' in those days. They started pre-recording programmes when people started saying 'bum' because they got nervous that someone might say it on the telly. True story, that.
We're going to discover a new habitable planet by May, that's a fact! Well, maybe. "There is a little wiggle room" said the lead author. There is a 50% chance it will be discovered by May, 66% by the end of 2013 and 75% by 2020. They used scientometrics, the scientific study of science itself. I'd never heard of it - sounds made up, doesn't it. They admit their formula is a bit optimistic and doesn't take acount of some factors. "It's not a scientific result, it's no a discovery, it's just something to spark discussion" said the co-author. Well done to them, I say. I normally get cross when scientists put out a press release overselling some load of rubbish and the scientific press laps it up, but these ones are pretty much coming right out and saying it's a load of rubbish but they'd like some media coverage anyway, and they're getting it. I wouldn't say they've oversold it, they've not really claimed that it's of any value, and they still got their non-story placed. Respect to you, Samuel Arbesman and Greg Laughlin!
Feta Menace Of The Day: Panda
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Posted by Keir Hardie at 5:20 am
A load of plants are a load of bollocks! Pardon my language, but I was horrified by what I read. They've been making out that they exist when they don't! They're saying "yeah, I'm this plant, amn't I not?" Well, no, you're bloody well not, you're some other plant, you yourself don't exist! They reckon that there's actually a third as many as they thought there were, and they're going to work out what's what and tell us what the real ones are and what phoney names the ones that were pretending not to be them used. It's better for working out what's endangered and that. But might there be a downside? I mean, we don't know the reason for the pretence. Maybe there's some stigma attached to some plants. There was no wordplay there, just ignore the botanical meaning. Some of these plants were trying to make a new lives for themselves, where they wouldn't be prejudged, and we come along and ruin it. Shame on us!
There's a lot of criticism of the government's plans to cut back the National Health Service to kill off the poor quicker. Some of this criticism is justified. But it cannot be denied that there is a lot of waste in the NHS that can be cut. How else do you explain the fact a fifty million year old snake is being given a CT scan? "Oh, you rotter," I hear you say, "why do you hate snakes? Snakes have a right to exist." Oh, hold your horses, you. It's not about that. I'm not bothered about it being a snake. My problem is that it's been dead for millions of years. There's no point running expensive tests on it to find out what's wrong with it - what's wrong with it is that it's been dead for millions of years - it's not coming back. It's fossilized, that should have been a clue. What a waste of money. Now, if a bloodsucking fly had drunk its blood and then got preserved in amber, it would be a different story.
And finally - my brain is great! Here's why. I was reading a piece I had set aside to cover on It Is What It Is. It was about the brain, how a certain part of the brain is more developed in people that are better at introspective, reflective thinking. People who assess their own decisions in a more awesome manner than others. As sometimes happens I read the piece and in the end decided that it wasn't worth covering after all. But then I realised, that was just the sort of thinking that they were talking about, so then it was worth writing about!
that's all from me for now
see you around
Has Somebody Put Something In My Drink Car Of The Day: Honda City Manhattan Hi-Fi
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Posted by Keir Hardie at 5:00 am