Well, this is late. Not late late. It's still appearing on the appointed date. But it's not written ages after it normally would have been published. That's good, it means I'm relaxed! Anyway, I have some confessions to make. Wine night went well, but I had a little bit of wine shortly before the appointed hour - when I found about a glass of wine still in last week's bottle! I don't remember leaving any on purpose. Anyway, we're all square now. I need to recommend to you the antivirus software Avast, because it was very kind to you the other day. I have been occasionally threatening to record a cover version of a Bucks Fizz song for months, and I started by recording a guitar track, but when I started saving it my computer crashed, thanks to an outdated version of the next version of Avast - it was trying to spare you! But I have since updated it, and have successfully laid down some rudimentary beats. So, consider yourselves warned, but it may comfor you to know that historically I am unlikely to even do any more work on it, let alone complete it.
The are going to send a spaceship into the sun I read. A car-sized unmanned spaceship, it says. But cars are different sizes, it should be more specific. There's nothing in the piece to say what size it will actually be, so I can tell you what car it will be the size of. "Researchers say that the Sun is one of the few places people have not yet sent a spacecraft" it says. Well researchers are wrong. There's only one or two that have left the solar system. And they've never sent one round to my house. Or yours, I would guess. It would be more accurate to say that the sun will be one of the few places people have sent a spacecraft. So the researchers are completely wrong. But no wonder with leadership like this? Lika Guhathakurta, Solar Probe Plus programme scientist at Nasa Headquarters in Washington DC, said that "for the very first time, we'll be able to touch, taste and smell our Sun." No, we won't. We'd be fried by radiation long before we could touch - ahh, burny - or taste - ahh, burny - it. If we could smell it from a safe distance, through the near-vacuum of space, it must really really stink.
A Hare Krishna temple in Leicester has blown up. They're saying it was an accident - a leaky gas cylinder - cover up! But who would have it in for the Hare Krishnas? They're not usually a target of anyone. It would have to be someone that had really lost the plot. I think it was Tony Blair. He's just been saying that radical Islam is the greatest threat to the universe - but that's just a red herring - he's always seemed more worried about atheists in the past. And he's trying to appear like a harmless fool by saying nonsense like Bono could have been prime minister of the UK - I might be wrong, but I could have sworn you at least need to be a British citizen to be prime minister of the UK. I don't think just anyone that's been here to appear on television can apply. But I reckon it was him. Blair, not Bono. Has he ever criticised the Hare Krishnas? I don't think so. He's always been very careful not to. A bit too careful. Case closed!
Journey Of The Day: Journey Into The Beyond