Wine! I like wine. I'm most of the way through a bottle of wine as I write this. It was very nice. But I don't feel that I've made the most of it. What would have been a good way to make use of my pissédness, can you tell me? I looked for suggestions and I can only conclude that I am nowhere near drunk enough. Not remotely. The thing is, I wouldn't want to be. I had no desire to drink the wine any faster than I did either, that's an issue too perhaps. So - what to do about being - I suppose you'd call it a little tipsy? Not much to show for 750ml at 13.5% vol, especially as I'm not a big drinker, but I guess it's the speed. I think I'll get up and walk around, see how that is.
No, no good, it was exactly as I expected, that is, it was just like it normally is. True, I could feel it a tiny bit when I bent down to lift up the toilet seat (I won't bore you with the details, but I had to bend down to do it because I was doing it with care, because there is a toilet seat issue which needs addressing). That was boring enough, come to think of it. Anyway, I felt it a tiny bit then, but that's hardly the 'oh, ha ha, I'm staggering about, I really am drunk after all' I was hoping for for the purposes of this narrative. I am, however, more conscious of distractability, either that or I am more distractible, much time passed between the writing of the previous paragraph and this bit now, and quite a bit during this paragraph. I sound like Christopher Mayhew, you'd think I'd never drunk wine before. But no, if I hadn't I'd be more drunk, presumably.
Yesterday I went on Google Street View and 'walked' my various walks from homes to schools (I moved around a bit). Starting with one I left when I was six or seven. It was pretty intense. I don't know if I recommend it or not. Meh, what the hell, go for it. As long as you don't blame me if you suddenly see the park you'd forgotten about you took a detour through to get away from Tommy Saunders, or something like that. Or the lampost they hung you from when you were Mussolini in a previous life. Although you're prettty unlucky if that was ever on your walk to school.
I've just found the person who told me the bacon tree joke nearly twenty-five years ago, on Facebook. In case you don't know, I still tell that. How's about that then, guys and gals?
that's all from me for now
see you around
Rubbish Chocolate Of The Day: Curly-Wurly