Stop the presses! Holdy the front pages! I know you've all been fretting. "Where is It Is What It Is? Why has he abandoned us?" Well, after I got back from down south there simply wasn't any news for a long time. But now the BBC brings us something tremendously important. I have been recalled to active service now that I've seen the tremendously important headline "Yahoo Mail gets it's first major revamp in five years". Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking three things. 1. "What? No fucking way!" 2. "Fuck me, Yahoo Mail's getting a revamp? I'm going to have to have a lie down" and 3. "Yahoo Mail? Oh yeah, my grandfather told me about that when I was a kid, I think. His grandfather told him when he was a kid that his grandfather used it when he was a kid."
It sounds a bit of a nightmare to me. Listen to this. "At the centre of the revamp is a plan to make the communications system much more compatible with social media. This means users can post updates to Facebook and Twitter without ever leaving Yahoo Mail." Without ever leaving?!!! What? What if I want to leave? Is that allowed? Do I need permission? Will we be seeing tweets and Facebook status updates saying "Help, I must never leave Yahoo Mail, you've got to help me?" I'll be alright, I never go to my Yahoo Mail. But these poor people. They will be able to look at photos from Flickr or Picasa or videos from [[YouTube]] right there in their inbox. But they'll have to be in their inbox, won't they? Otherwise it's not an inbox. Perhaps they'll be making Facebook status updates saying things like "please email me something to look at, I'm so bored and I've got to entertain myself without ever leaving Yahoo Mail." You see, I don't have that problem. When I want to look at things on the internet I leave my email and go somewhere else on the internet. That way I can see what I like without begging someone to email me it. And once I'm somehere else, why would I want to go into my email to update twitter or facebook, or watch a video?
"People spend more than 300 billion minutes a month on Yahoo Mail" said Yahoo senior product manager Dave McDowell, lying to BBC News. I don't believe anyone spends that much time on it, that's a ridiculous claim. I worked it out, even if someone was constantly on Yahoo Mail for the whole month they'd have to go back in time to the start of the month and do the same again, and repeat that thousands of times. Who's going to do that? That's more than five hundred thousand years a month spent on Yahoo Mail. I worked that out too. Well I'm certainly not going to do it. Some people don't even believe I'm going to live that long!
that's all from me for now
see you around
Place Where Anything Can Happen Of The Day: Vegas