Following the recent overstating of the wellbeing of the Titanic, they've found a Saxon boat! In Norfolk! At the borrom of the River Ant. The River Ant? Was it named after Adam Ant? I think not. Anyway, they found five animal skulls near it. What's this, holy relics of the Owl and the Pussycat? What the hell kind of diddy damn doody dating agency were they using anyway? The owl wouldn't have lasted long, surely - the cat would have eaten it. Did the owl think the honey would have kept it happy? So much for the wise owl - a cat is a creature of instinct, and would not leave a big juicy bird alone however much honey you gave it. I don't even know if cats like honey. And they're not interested in money at all. That whole story doesn't add up - I don't believe that an owl could play the guitar. There's no way they would have made it to the land where the bong tree goes. There would have been a fight much sooner, and I contend that their was, and it took place on the River Ant. As for the other skulls I don't know, but perhaps, despite what the story days, the pig and the turkey were on the boat. That would still leave one skull - but calm down a minute. Let's just wait until they are forensically identified. We don't want to go making fools of ourselves now, do we?
I bought a camera today. I bought the cheapest new digital camera I could get, twenty-five quid from Argos. Not to be confused with "£24.99 From Argos" by Half Man Half Biscuit. It's not because I am cheap - it's because I'm punk rock. It's like Robert Smith's Top Ten guitar from Woolworths he used in the early days. But fear not! I know what you're worried about - you're thinking "oh no! I was looking forward to seeing more pictures of former leaders of political parties who were never prime ministers nor chancellors of the exchequer! Well, don't worry, that will continue. For the time being. I might stop if it gets back to the point where too many of them would have to be stick drawings because I can't find any pictures of them because they're too obscure. Or I might combine the two disciplines and do a sketch and then photograph it. Good, eh? Multimedia, that's me.
Tiny solar cells that repair themselves! That's good, innit? But they're a billionth of a metre across. Boo, too small! But loads of them work together like a big one. Hurrah! This will 'extend' their useful lifetime, it says. They will last 'much longer'. Why not forever? Do they stop fixing themselves when the warranty runs out? Maybe they're just playing it safe. It says that the effects of sunlight hitting oxygen are very damaging and it's why paper fades and why we age. But surely that can't be right - surely if we stayed indoors and took vitamin D that wouldn't mean we never aged? Someone would have found out about about that. Look at vampires - they never go out in the sunlight and they're ancient. Still, these solar cells are good, probably... erm... hurrah! Yeah.
Happy Families Car Of The Day: Hyundai Presto