I firmly believe that if our brothers and sisters in another part of the world are suffering a terrible disaster we should help them, not make things worse. So how shocked I was to read that what with all the wildfires in Russia, heavy rain causing landslides in China and flooding in Pakistan, which are all linked, we are going to send tornados to Afghanistan! That's the last thing they need! What are we thinking of? What's the idea behind that? Are the Afghans supposed to get swept up by the tornados and find themselves deposited in the land of Oz? Because that wouldn't really happen. What idiot thought that up? The Wizard Of Oz is a made up story. And I don't mean like Saddam and the WMDs. I mean a children's story book. It was written by a vampire called Baron von Frankenbaum. Not a real vampire, of course. A made up one like Dracula, so it's doubly made up. What else are they messing around with if they think The Wizard Of Oz is a true story? Spending our tax on weapons to combat the Taliban's flying monkeys? Have they got some poor sod locked up in Guantanamo Bay trying to make him confess to being the cook and driver for the Wicked Witch of the West?
Colombia seems to be a pretty rough place. Apparently the authorities are offering a car-bomb reward for something or other. Now, in a lot of places, I don't think that would appeal to people. I did a quick survey of the staff here in It Is What It Is Towers and generally when I asked them if they wanted a car-bomb they looked a bit uncomfortable, like they were nervous and scared. I wonder what the reward is for? Maybe it's a trick, so they can make a list of people interested in having a car-bomb and keep an eye on them. That's certainly an unanticipated benefit I got from my survey. Yes, Bob in marketing, I've got my eye on you. That sounds like I've only got one eye, but I've got two. It's just a phrase. Smoke and mirrors. Anyway, Bob, I've got my eye on you. I can't think of any good reason why any of my staff would want a car-bomb, but a neighbour whom you think should trim his hedge - you may be getting sent for reprogramming, I mean training, Bob. I hate to think what marketing you've been doing. I'm going to check, I better not have been paying for banner ads on scary survivalist websites.
Here's an outtake from two days ago - it wasn't left out on purpose, I just kept forgetting after I'd done it in my head, which is annoying as I generally have to write this from scratch not having anything already in my head - it's the boiler, it's way up off the ground, at a civilised height for operating it stood up. The old one, I had to get right down on the floor to light the pilot light, which was by pressing a clicky thing, like an old gas cooker, but not as old as one where you used matches or a separate clicky thing you bought. This one, you just press a reset button. Anyway, it's good that it's off the ground, because getting down on the floor wasn't good on my knees, and I'm not getting any younger. Many was the time I'd go out and all the children in the neighbourhood would shout "Mister Elvis! Do your fantastic dance for us! Much better than Prince Buster's bogus dance that Mister Suggs warned us about!" (deep time callback). And I'd say "sorry kids, my knees are buggered, not today" and I'd be surrounded by disappointed children, and no-one wants that. No-one nice, anyway. And I am nice. Whatever Bob in marketing says.
that's all from me for now
see you around
Car For People Who Wear A Stupid Thom Yorke Hat Of The Day: Toyota Ipsum