Coming up, comebacks and signs, but first - Breaking News! What sort of thing do you expect when I say 'breaking news'? Something like this, from ABC News? Breaking News: President Obama Says "I'm Having a Great Time" On Vacation. Maybe not. I mean, seriously, is that some sort of whimsy? Like 'Breaking News: That's The Rain On'? or 'Breaking News: The Nights Are Fair Drawing In'? He's doing a lot of reading, he says. There's a load of dull confusing rubbish about who ate with him and where they met some guy that once walked their dog's brother or something, but someone does eventually mention that they were asked not to talk about what the Obamas ordered! Whooo! Why was that? Did he, perhaps, start with a bowl of I'm A Secret Muslim Soup? That's the Achilles' heel of these secret Muslims, they can't resist giving themselves away by choosing the I'm A Secret Muslim Soup. They can't even resist going to restaurants that serve it rather than somewhere less risky. Case closed!
Comebacks! Earliy nineties news Asil Nadir has returned to the UK, hoping to make a comeback. I think he's mistimed it. I don't think people are crying out for reminders of the John Major era, especially ones of such transitory semi-fame. Asil was a pioneer, because he had a company with a silly name, Polly Peck, long before we'd heard of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Here in the UK, that is. And Polly Peck was its proper name, not just a nickname. Wikipedia says Freddie Mac is an acronym of its full name but it can't be, the full name only jas one D and there's no R before it. Sort it out!
In these hard times it's good to know the government's got it's priorities right, and is conecentrating on the important issues. It is asking councils to declutter the streets by getting rid of railings and signs and hoardings and stuff. The people may not have food to eat or anywhere to live, but at least they'll be able to crawl out of their ditch in the morning and look upon a Prince Charles fantasy of a Britain that never was. Oh! An England that never was. Here in Scotland we're allowed to keep our signs, and our drivers will be able to see where they're going, and what speed they're supposed to be doing, not that that will matter now the goverment's told them to get rid of the speed cameras so as not to encroach upon Jeremy Clarkson's fundamental human right to drive his Lamborghini at 120 past schools - or is that only in England as well? Three cheers for devolution! Hang on - I thought this goverment was all for a smaller state? More local decision-making and less national government interference? And yet, as Richard Kemp, vice-president of the Local Goverment Association pointed out, decisions about street furniture are for councils, not ministers, to make.
You'd think they were making it up as they went along.
that's all from me for now
see you around
Japanese Monkey Of The Day: Chocko-Kun