That would be an error! Yes, it's all about errors today. Not errors like forgetting to put the rubbish out or believing in a slightly different god that whatever one it is that gets you into heaven. I'm talking about computer errors, as trailed by yesterday's coverage of 999 unknown actions you can take. Well, not just computer errors strictly, but that kind of thing. One I remember was "MN BUS B UNDERVOLT" - Main bus B undervolt - from a documentary on Apollo 13. It was the warning light that told them they were in the shit. Another I remember was "R Tape loading error" - the message on my old ZX Spectrum computer that meant a game had failed to load from cassette properly. Legally bought games, obviously. I wouldn't have copied games on one of the new-fangled Amstrad hifis with double-tape decks that were around at the time. Not even though everyone else was doing it. I have always been a law-abiding citizen. But none of these had much literary merit. Not like 999 unknown actions you can take.
MS-DOS had, when it was having trouble reading a disk or some such thing, "Abort, Retry, Fail?" The profound thing about that was that almost certainly all options would result in failure. No way out. That's pretty deep.
And there my research fails me! I can't find anything else satisfactory! So I'll have to come up with some of my own:
These ones are for computers:
Mind Games Error: Computer has forgotten to slow down and crunch away furiously at the hard drive for no apparent reason.
Bloat Error: The new version of this software will fail to make your computer slower than the last version.
User Error: I'm sick of your incompetence, ask a baby to help you.
These ones are for websites:
Reality error: Daily Mail readers in comments
Maintainance error: Dead links ahead
Volume error: Page full of computer-halting crap (aka Myspace error)
These ones are for news websites:
Memory error: Story we wrote about a month ago already
Effort error: Barely warmed-over press release
Reaser estimation error: Insult to intelligence ahead
and these ones just for It Is What It Is:
Schtick error: Mainly same old rubbish
Memory error: He forgot to include the good bit he thought of
Performance error: Not a good one today.
that's all from me for now
see you around
Ice Rink Of The Day: Seibuen