Why are the Tories like toddlers? The newses has the answers!
First off we had the MP who was very sorry because he was pissed up on booze at the House of Commons and missed a vote on the budget. But he didn't fall asleep on the terrace or get a taxi back to Kent, he denies that absolutely. "I made a mistake. I'm really sorry about it" he said. ""I'm terribly, terribly embarrassed. I apologise unreservedly and I don't plan to drink again at Westminster." But he didn't vote because he was being sensible, you see. He said "I remember someone asking me to vote and not thinking it was appropriate, given how I was at the time." So that's alright then. His name? Mark Reckless. Just shows how the voters of Rochester were feeling when they elected him.
Meanwhile in Manchester a three-year old boy who nearly burnt the house down and killed his family, but actually just destroyed one room (it was totally destroyed though) has said that he's sorry. "He's told me he's never going to play with matches again, or fire" she said. He also said that he's going to buy them a new flat. Judging by the house, which is respectable enough but no Likely Lad cat-mauling Beatle widow fortress, I don't think the boy can make good on his promise. Remind you of anyone? No, not the last government. For all that this government are trying to distract you by not shutting up about them making promises they couldn't keep, and how furious they are about it, every day they're at it so relentlessly that nary an hour goes by without a promise that this will be fair or that will be protected from cuts which by the time it reaches the news a statement that contradicts it has already been made and is on the way to our ears five minutes behind it.
Hang on! I didn't mention that detail before, but the news said that the boy started the fire by playing with a cigarette lighter - and the boy's said he'll never play with matches or fire again! That is the world's shiftiest three-year old. I think we've found George Osborne's new spin doctor.
that's all from me for now
see you around
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