Men! You don't need to be ashamed any more! I bring you liberation! You don't have to pretend to like football! I guess you're scared, about what the other guys might say - well don't be! Think of them all, pretending to like football because they're scared, and think of yourself saying no to all that, and ask yourself, who is the real man? Yes, it's them, the cowards! But that you is better, more confident in yourself than they are - uberman. (If you really do like football, well, you're sick, but I won't judge you, it takes all sorts, pretend I'm talking about something else rather than football - Top Gear, perhaps, or lack of style).
The reason I bring this up is I see in a news that they say that more than 80% of male smokers are football fans. No, surely not! More than 80% say they are! It all fits, you see, peer pressure! I bet a disproportionate proportion of m
Image via Wikipediaen who start smoking in the first place say they are football fans (and watch Top Gear, but never mind that, I'm leaving that alone today). So, they're saying that by tying in stopping smoking and football these men will stop smoking.
It could work, I guess, on these sheeple, if done right, but it doesn't seem to be going very well, so it's not being done right, I guess. (Don't misunderstand me when I sneer at these sheeple - it's just for the piece, in reality I have compassion for them, I pity them - I'm not so keen on the fact that they're more likely than other people to kick my head in if they realise that I pity them, but I know it's not their fault they're like that. It's Thatcher's, probably). Anyway, it reminds me of a campaign we had a few years ago, to try to stop men being depressed and jumping off buildings. It was like 'Men! Are you depressed and going to jump off a building? You're probably depressed because your country's football team is rubbish and didn't get into the international football championship! Play a stupid football game on our website and feel like a winner again and don't jump off a building!'
Now, I'm paraphrasing a bit, to get my message across (and actually distorting it a bit too, but there's a truth in what I'm saying and that's what matters) but surely they'd have been better saying 'Men! Are you really miserable because you follow a sports team or person that's not done as well as you'd like? Have you considered investing your emotions in something less trivial? Your wife and children, perhaps? What's that? You're not married, a fine looking man like you? Why not take up a night class or something? Oh, I see. You can't, you go to the pub at night. Look over there, that's a nice high building and the roof isn't locked.' I seem to have veered off course a bit there, but you can see where I was going before that, and that's what matters.
Don't think I've forgotten about the turnip marketing survey, by the way.
that's all from me for now
see you around
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