So Good

What is the biggest issue that faces us today? Yes, furniture sales that never end - according to an MP. You know, it's funny, but we've been suffering from this terrible oppression for so long it almost seems that it doesn't really matter, that it's what people expect, that it doesn't fool anyone. But that's not true, apparently shoppers are being "misled" by the adverts on the telly and in the papers, according to the man. But which shoppers? This has been going on for so long that when middle-aged people or younger see the cheap-looking advert for the closing-down sale at Ken's Tables they assume it will be going on forever, and don't hurry, however much the ad says "Hurry, hurry, hurry down to Ken's Tables!" or whatever. Based on their past experience of similar sales they would assume that even if it was not for the fact that they first saw the Ken's Tables closing-down sale advert in 1995. So, it must be older shoppers that are fooled by these ads. But what would be the effect of changing things?

Imagine, if you will, that the Ken's Tables ad appears, but it's real. Who will "hurry hurry hurry!"? Only the oldest

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shoppers, and not most of those. The younger people will assume they can saunter along this time next year and the sale will still be on. Most of the older shoppers will think that too, as even if they can remember sales when they were a kid that were real sales they will have picked up on the fact that they haven't been for several decades. These people will therefore miss out on all the bargains. The bargains will be snaffled by people who are not aware that sales were ever anything but honest in their claims of a lower than normal price being available for a limited period. Older people with dementia for instance, but only some of those - it is not a characteristic of dementia that as soon as you have it you definitely can't remember that furniture sales oversell their appeal. You may not remember that at the time, or ever again, but it's not guaranteed with your condition. Older people who have been out of the country or out of circulation for a very long time, perhaps. But they can't be many of those. I don't think this is all part of a plot to let Ian Brady out to get bargains from Ken's Tables.

No, who will really be picking up these bargains? Sneaky MP David Taylor, that's what I reckon. He'll be wise to it. The hysterical ninnies which make up the public freak out these days if they find out that a politician got a free pen from the Happy Smile Roadshow, at the behest of the evil right-wing press, so what's David Taylor doing trying to get the law changed so he can get all the cheap furniture? In the current political climate this is very irresponsible of him. I demand his resignation now! I trust that you'll all support my campaign, I can assure you that it won't mean that you're hysterical ninnies, okay?


that's all from me for now

see you around

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