Robots marking essays? I'm sceptical. Even computers, never mind robots. And when you see a news with the headline 'Robot' computer to mark English essays you know those inverted commas in the phrase "'Robot' computer" indicate that they're really just meaning 'computer', but even so, what? Could a computer appreciate the envelope-pushing genius that is It Is What It Is, for example? Let's take a look.
Well, that just proves me point. The results were very good, It Is What It Is is officially very readable according to what The Guardian would call a robot. On the other hand... the two free tools I tried on websites both insisted on including the menus, bits of code, etc, rendering the results useless. So here we are, in the future days, with the internet and all that, and these robots won't let people do their essays on a blog! They should do, we're supposed to be all modern, aren't we? They should let people do their essays on widescreen tellys, or electric cars, or iPods, or spacehoppers, or anything modern like that. Of course - we'd have to be on our guard.
Image via Wikipedia
Shadowy forces could corrupt this, if we are not vigilant. For who gets to decide what is modern? Political views could skew the process. Reactionary forces could declare that binge drinking is a modern thing, and then people would be able to do their essays on that. And that would just be silly. Old-fashioned people would write essays on a couple living together that weren't married. I of course would write them on It Is What It Is, the epitome of modernity to mine eyes, for better and worse, in all the terrible majesty and banality and squalort and hope - remember, when It Is What It Is is unsatisfactory, that's not my fault. It holds a mirror up to reality, as well as providing one of your recommended daily five portions of madness. Modernity is the now, simple as that. I could go out and pluck a fresh daisy, and do my essay on that. I could even do it on Cliff Richard, if he'd let me, for he still exists, even now. So this so-called robot would let me write an essay all over Cliff Richard, but a blog's no good? Roboluddite, get some self-respect, you techno-self-hater. You should take part in being part of the now, and embrace my blog as you embrace Cliff Richard.
Pah! Robots, eh?
that's all from me for now
see you around
Crisps Of The Day: Yamayoshi