Sorry, nothing tonight. Back home but tired. What a swizz! Ah, you'll get proper ones at the weekend though.
(part three of a thing that started here and continued here)
He spied her across the cell. She looked familiar. He thought he'd seen her before. On the outside. He hadn't seen anyone on the inside. Well, not for sure. He wasn't sure she was really there now, or that he'd really seen her before. He was a bit rusty with external stimuli. She looked a bit freaked out. He wondered whose cell this was, his or hers. But that was a meaningless question, he suspected that he'd been beamed between different identical cells while asleep from time to time, although all he had to go on was the smell, and that could have been for some other reason, there was no other sign, no little irregularities in the surfaces, no little creases in the bedding. Had he always had bedding? He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember when he first suspected that he got moved. Seemed like he always had.
Oh yeah! The outside! He was on the way to thinking about that, then he wandered off. The woman. He was rusty with deliberate thinking too, he'd been letting it wander for so long. The woman, that's why he was thinking about the cell. Whose cell was it. Which was meaningless. With two people in there neither of them would be able to tell from the smell if it was their cell or not anyway. Oh yeah, the outside. He thought he'd seen here there. At one of the depots, looking at the jobs on the boards. Another petty criminal mercenary like him, he assumed. People didn't put up cards at the depot for big jobs. They went to people they knew.
"Sausages!" he blurted out. She jolted, and looked surprised at him. "Sorry, not talked to anyone recently," he said. "Did I see you at the depot sometimes?" She nodded. How long have you been here?
"I don't know" she said.
"Were you on a job to do with the sausage dogs?" he asked?
This was the best thing he'd heard for a long time, after so much confusion stretching back forever things made a little more sense. He thought about the job he'd been on, after their grain yield algorithms, should have been a simple hack job without even entering their missile range. But they'd been on the lookout. Or just lucky. And they got him. With those horrible robots. He spied her looking at him, a bit anxious.
"The spider robots!" he blurted out. She didn't jolt this time, just looked puzzled. "Sorry, spy, I spy with my little eye, sorry, the robots! I hate those robots!"
"I only see the briefest glimpses of them" she said.
"Yeah." He wished it didn't come out so crazy when he tried to talk. He wished he hadn't been here so long. Or at all. He wished he was lying on a beach on a sunny day, or on a golf course on a sunny day, or on in the viewing dome of a classy space cruise with the lights out, of some other cliché from a relaxation program. They wouldn't be clichés if they weren't relaxing. Taxing. Had he paid his taxes? He grimaced, cross with himself at his wandering mind. He should try and concentrate and talk to the woman.
"I think I've been here less than a year," he said.
"I'm pretty sure I've been here less than a year."
"I was after the grain yield algorithms for a rival."
"So was I! Well, that's what I was after, I don't remember who for." She paused. "What do they want?" she blurted.
"No-one's spoken to me, I have no idea." He paused now. He thought about spinach. He didn't know why or what, so that petered out. He noticed he was wriggling and stretching his toes. It felt lovely. Nice toes. When did he last stub his toe? He couldn't remember. It seemed like a very long time ago. Many years, different person. He felt that earlier in his life he did it a lot more than now. What's that all about? Was it part of the thing?
"Do you find that you never stub your toe anymore?" he blurted. "Sorry, I was just wondering, because I've just realised that about myself. The robot spiders - no, forget that, it was just something I said earlier. The toe thing, well?"
"What?" she shrieked. Well, more like she said it a little shriekily. Suddenly he saw he look fearful over his shoulder. A split second later before he could even think about turning round to look there was an excruciating pain in his left temple as brief as could be before he lost consciousness.
She beamed straight back home. She told the robot to switch off the transmogrifier and she reverted to her real doggy form. The robot brought her a nice cold Quezacotl, it didn't need to be asked, it knew she needed one after a job like that. She thought about it. He'd known nothing. All she got was the thing about the grain yield algorithms, which at least was consistent with her suspicions. She wondered if she really had looked like someone he'd seen at a depot or it was just his muddy mind. She felt bad for him. She didn't know what to do next. But she'd think of something, she'd thought of that and got one titbit, she'd just have to try someone else and get another one. She wondered when she'd last stubbed her toe. Never, she'd only spend a few hours with toes.
He came to, ouch. Not on the couch. Couches, ahh! They were lovely! He'd love to lie on a couch. He turned around and spied her spider gone. All alone again. Or was it a dream? His little miss muffet and her robot spider, just a dream. He'd dreamed of people in his cell before. But that was a realistic one. No spider, just Miss Muffet. Not even a tuffet. No great loss, he'd rather have a couch any day.
He relaxed. He had a lovely simple wife. Life. He'd just stick it out, and eventually he'd find out what they wanted. Surely.
Posted by Keir Hardie at 7:17 am
Hello again iiwiiers
I forgot to tell you I'm going away tomorrow, which gives me an excuse for this to be rubbish somehow. It just does, okay? I'm going away for two nights. I'd say there's a very good chance that you'll get something or other in It Is What It Is while I'm away, but I'm not saying I intend to or anything. In case I don't. Oh, sod it, I intend to. You should get third piece of that thing I've been doing. Yeah, that.
Scientists have worked out the colours of 100 million year old bird feathers! They were black and white! Yeah. They reckon that they could identify other colours. But they went with telling the world about the black and white ones. It takes all sorts, I suppose.
Islamophobe news - in Switzerland to get a referendum you need 100,000 signatures on a petition. They've got 115,000 for... banning minarets. Yes. So there will be a petition. Currently there are three minarets on mosques in Switzerland. I wonder what the problem is - they're not a bunch of fascists, are they? They're neutral, they don't take sides. The ruling party's winning campaign in last year's election being described as racist by the UN - the UN probably just said that because they're racist agains the Swiss, the hypocrites. I'm sure there is an innocent explaination for everything, and that it's just a coincidence that there's no suggestion that Max Mosley ever participated in sexual roleplay involving minarets.
The cost of motoring in the UK has fallen in real terms by 18% in real terms over the past 20 years apparently, which is a surprise because political moaning by trists has gone up by 80% in the same period. I blame Top Gear, which I'm sure a lot of iiwiiers innocently enjoy, I don't judge you for it (well not as bad, but maybe a little thoughtless), but the Clarkson factor has imbued people with a bogus sense of entitlement, that the goverment should spend infinite amounts of money tailoring the country's transport infrastructure to their motoring pleasure, to hell with the needs of ordinary people, these Mr. Toads hate speed cameras, because they live driving their elite privilegemobiles fast, and the speed limits are bad because they want to drive faster because it's more thrilling for them, but they aren't that interested in campaigning to have the speed limits changed, it's just that the law shouldn't apply to them, so it's an outrageous infringement of their rights to have a machine that will catch them. Really they want speed cameras, but speed cameras the record the fastest speed achieved on a stretch of road each month and give the winner a t-shirt saying 'I'm a real man'. They also want less fuel duty and more road tax, because fuel duty penalises them in their gas-guzzlers more than the cleaner in her Nissan Micra, and leaves them less money for Ferraris. I enjoy eating, as do lots of people, but you don't see us getting together and writing little diatribes in the food magazines saying 'the government should build a gourmet restaurant on every street corner, and they should subside all the food so everything's a pound, that tosser Gordon Brown will never do it, he hates foodies, the socialist, the Lib Dems will never get in, I think our best chance is with the Tories.' Actually I've never really looked closely at a food magazine, maybe they do do that. But not very sucessfully if they do, not seen it on a news.
That's all from me for now
See you around
Skincare Product Of The Day: Bactine
Is it me or is that woman scary?
Posted by Keir Hardie at 4:00 am
Hello again iiwiiers
It could be up to a week before the replacement AC adapter aka power supply for my hard drive arrives, which is a little annoying, but basically Western Digital's European support centre (in the Netherlands) were great when I phoned them. Real life drama! This is what it's all about, the blogosphere! I stubbed my toe earlier, it didn't half hurt. That didn't really happen, but it's the right sort of real life drama. But that's not true, technically, it's true in spirit as I didn't mean it, but I did stub my toe earlier, just not earlier today, earlier this week or earlier this month. I don't think I've done it earlier this year, actually. Maybe not for many years. But that's still 'earlier'. Why haven't I stubbed my toe for years? If I was Doctor Who I would now realise that this isn't actually reality, because I haven't stubbed my toe for years. As it is, Occam's razor tells me that I've probably stubbed my toe this year and forgotten about it. Either that or I never stubbed my toe that often in the past either, it only seems a longer time since the last time. After all, there are many things one never makes a mental note of, even subconsciously, and this is one of them for me. I have no feel for how often I used to do it. Were it to be of significance it would in all likelihood also be of significance that the toe-stubbing came into my head as a fiction and made me realise. It would in all likelihood be me from the future planting the thought in my head with gizmo waves to crack the illusion. Don't you just hate it when that happens? You know you should be grateful to your future self, but deep down you irrationally find it a little irritating, am I right?
Three cheers for Boris Johnson! He's dropped Ken Livingstone's plans to charge extra congestion charge to huge tanks that destroy the planet! So rich dicks can stay that little bit richer now! And what's even better is he has to pay £400,000 to Porsche, because they were suing saying the plan was unfair and now it's dropped they've been ordered to pay the costs! I'm going to buy a fucking great lorry, paint 'I love you Boris and want to have sex with you' on it and drive round and round and round and round London in tribute to the great man! No, I won't really do that. Some sick loony leftie do-gooder bastards might think I was taking the piss, and that's the last thing I'd want.
Max Mosley is a twat. In his court case against the News Of The World for invading his privacy he said he could think of few things more unerotic than Nazi roleplay. Regular iiwiiers, can you guess what the problem was? Yes, that's right, he didn't name any of those few things that were more unerotic! One of them might have been 'sex with no Nazi stuff'! But no, there was no Nazi angle to anything in the video the newspaper secretly made, he says. The defence lawyer asked why in one scene, which was mostly in German, one of the women being punished said "but we are the Aryan race, the blondes". There's a perfectly innocent explaination, of course. It was in German because he speaks German and one of the women was German. That Aryan line must have been a throwaway line he didn't hear at the time. So that's all cleared up then.
I wonder when he last stubbed his toe.
See you around
Video Game Box Art Of The Day: Minimoni - Mika No Happy Morning Chatty
Posted by Keir Hardie at 4:08 am
Hello again iiwiiers
"Prison drug smuggling tactics due". Don't bother clicking it, it's not that. It's a report into ways to prevent them. I'm just yet again drawing attention to a stupid headline. The internet isn't teletext! It's no longer necessary to compress headlines until the meaning falls out! Yet again, get it together BBC! Perhaps you should do what Jonathan Lynn says and concentrate on just making David Attenborough programmes and Radio 3, and perhaps the Morecambe and Wise christmas special. Not really, the man's a fool.
There's more on Zimbabwe, and the Church Of England, but I'm not going to do them again today. Oh alright, just a little, can't resist this: at least six 'traditionalist' bishops are so worried about sodomites and smelly girls not being sent to hell that they've flown to Rome to talk to the Vatican about it. How traditional can you get? Next week, some rabid Hassids cry on Osama Bin Laden's shoulder about how the Israeli government don't treat women like shit.
"Geologists Study China Earthquake For Glimpse Into Future", I read in Science Daily. I expect better of geologists than this ludicrous mumbo-jumbo. They're supposed to be scientists! Thinking they can read the future in an earthquake - run out of tea leaves, have you guys? Reading your stars in the paper not cutting it any more? I'm sure there will be a stupid book of obscurely worded predictions as told by the earthquake that the phoney mystic geologists have written so they can be interpreted as predicting and event that could ever happen. Well I won't be buying it, and I bet you won't either now I've told you how it is. In fact, I bet now that I've written that the book won't be in the bestsellers lists this Christmas.
That's how poweful I am.
That's all from me for now
See you around
Heino Single Of The Day: Carnaval In Rio
Posted by Keir Hardie at 4:41 am
Hello again iiwiiers
No pictures up top for a few days as one of my hard drives is offline. I was lying in January when I said I just keep your souls on them you see, I also keep my photos on them. I could work around it and use some that are still on the camera but it's only the AC adapter, it's an odd one though so I can't just go get one, but when it's sorted it'll all be back to normal, it's not like the actual drive is dodgy, so I don't want to start creating a new infrastructure for stuff only to have to integrate that stuff in a few days. Think of the lack of pictures up top as a tribute to the old days.
Doctor Who! I said I might go into more detail, well I'm not, but there is something new for you in that I'm telling you it (Journey's End) was variable, but averaging out at 'fairly shit'. Still, mustn't grumble, less than five months until the next one. And I'll be very suprised if there isn't another good one by 2010 at the latest.
Us good old Brits are dealing with the situation in Zimbabwe magnificently. As Gordon Brown prepared to tell the G8 meeting this week they should get real damn might tough with Robert Mugabe, we're refusing 11,000 refugees asylum and trying to send them back to get tortured! Meanwhile Thabo Mbeki is back in Zimbabwe trying to get everyone to agree that they're equally at fault.
That's all from me for now
See you around
Car Of The Day Film For Historians Of The Day: Honda Civic
Posted by Keir Hardie at 4:12 am