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Not On Your Nelly
Hello again
Euarchontoglires then. There's only two types, I'm very relieved to report. Glires and Euarchonta. Glires are rodents or lagomorphs. Lagomorphs ar rabbits, hares and pika. Pika are wee hamstery things that should be rodents instead of being awkward. But we're Euarchonta, so of course my coverage is biased in favour of them. But before we live Glires let's think about all that Glires have done for society.
Many great entertainers have been Glires. Bugs Bunny, Micky Mouse and of course Roland Rat were all Glires. Wasn't it a mouse that told Robert The Bruce to keep his pecker up? No, it was a spider or something. Glires have inspired many great songs, such as Ben by Michael Jackson, Rats by Syd Barrett, Myxomatosis by Radiohead, Rat Trap by The Boomtown Rats, Bright Eyes by Art Garfunkel and of course Rabbit by Chas & Dave. Famous Glires musicians include Bunny Wailer and Eek-A-Mouse. Mice were vital in the running of Bagpuss's Shop, and of course commissioned the building of Earth.
Now Euarchonta I am pleased to tell you is basically just primates. There's other tree shrews and other stupid wee squirrelly things that are just being awkward but primates is the main thing. Primates are Strepsirrhini or Haplorrhini. Wet-noses and Dry-noses. The wet-noses are just lemurs and a load of other lemury things with very silly names indeed, the dry-noses, we're the best. The dry-noses are tarsiers and simians. Tarsians are stupid lemury things again that only live in stupid places like Borneo. Simians are Platyrrhini and Catarrhini - what's with all this Lamborghini Linguini? I don't know. Anyway, Platyrrhini are new world monkeys with flat noses and long tails, marmosets and spider monkeys and stuff like that. Catarrhini is not a cough medicine you silly reader but our great mob. Catarrhini are Old World Monkeys or Apes. Old World Monkeys are monkeys with narrow noses like Macaques, Baboons etc. Apes are gibbons and great apes.
Gibbons are more like monkeys, you can learn all you need to know about them from The Goodies. Great Apes are Ponginae or Homininae. Why not Pongirrhini? I don't know. Anyway, Ponginae or Orangutans - aren't they great? Damn straight. Homininae are Gorillini and Hominini. Of course. Gorillini are Gorillas and Hominini are Chimpanzees and Humans. Phew.
See ya around
Pongo of the day: The Librarian
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1 comments:
remember the fish on the bag you got from the chip shop ages ago - the one with the knife and fork - well s/he has turned up in Leith in my local chipper (called after a marine mammel - where do they fit in the scheme of things - should pay more attention when reading your blog). anyway, it was all very traumatic for me. I saw it on a bag they were using to put someone else's order in, so I did not get full view - I did not require a bag so I was spared any further shock - my nerves can't take it!
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